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31 August 2009 @ 11:17 pm

This is hard! I don't know how I wrote on this everyday. I just feel like there's nothing going on that's worth mentioning...

Ok, so this past Saturday I went to the block party in Brooklyn that Spike Lee hosted for Michael's birthday. Saying it was fun would be an understatement. I wish I could dance and sing at the top of my lungs to MJ's discography with 20,000 other people everyday. It was really a joyous, spiritual....cleansing experience. I laughed, I cried, I screamed. At one point during the song Butterflies a group of monarch butterflies descended upon the crowd. After the group left, there was this one butterfly that would appear every so often and dance around...landing on people and eventually landing on the jumbo-tron while the Rev. Al Sharpton gave a prayer. I like to think it was Michael. Spike Lee released a statement announcing a 2nd annual celebration and I couldn't be more excited for next year. I hope it becomes a lasting tradition.

Umm...school is ever so near. I just received my rehearsal schedule for Girl Gone and I'm going to be running tech right through my birthday =\. Oh well, it's on a Monday anyway. I know I'm gonna have to work my ass off this year, and I'm really trying to at least think about stop being a procrastinator. It's gonna take an active effort, but I think it could be really fulfilling. I do enjoy being constantly busy...it's just the getting off of my ass part that's hard. But this summer, if anything, has inspired me to make shit happen. I'm determined to manage my time well and find enough room in my schedule for classes, rehearsal, dance, and...fun. I'm going to read more; plays, books, biographies, anything about acting, theatre, the business. I know I'm young, everyone says I'm a baby, but I keep on getting this sinking feeling that I won't accomplish what I want to in time. I know that's silly...even though I was lazy, I had a productive summer...I did a play...I did an independent film...I met with Tracey Goldblum...but I can't help but feeling like I'm not doing enough. If there was a way to eliminate sleep entirely I think I would do it...because I feel like I can't waste time anymore.
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: Torture - The Jacksons
17 August 2009 @ 01:48 am

My new year's resolution was to return to livejournal...and while I'm a little late, I think this is a good time to start. This summer has shown me a lot; fuck it, this summer has been absolutely ruthless. I've never known more than now that nothing can be taken for granted, and that no one is invincible. My childhood has, literally, died. The one constant that has always been present in my life no longer exists in the present world. But while I could easily take one event and blanket it over a whole three months titled as "The Worst Summer Ever," I know that would be unfair. Because it hasn't. I've had a lot of fun...the city is the perfect place for someone trying out their newfound independence, and pinning down exactly what they want to be. I've done a lot of living these past few months...I've made a lot of spur-of-the-moment decisions...some of which might've had dangerous results but...I've lived. And I wouldn't change a thing. I first joined livejournal almost exactly 5 years ago, and it's mind boggling and breathtaking and heartbreaking how different everything is. But I know that this is all for a reason, and therefore, necessary. I wouldn't change a thing. 

That's a lie, it's comforting, but there's something in the back of my mind screaming that it's a lie.
I would change one thing. 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative